If someone you know who is really struggling to forgive another person would come to you asking advice, what would you tell them? What would be the source from where you would draw your answer?
Does our forgiving another person depend of the severity of the offence and its consequences and or how long ago it happened?
As born-again Christians, who have a loving relationship with God, do we really have a full understanding of what the Bible teaches about forgiveness?
The following are a few worldly or nonbiblical viewpoints about forgiveness that obviously contradicts what we are taught in our Bibles.
- “Normal people who live in the real world can’t afford to forgive.”
- “Forgiveness sets you up to get hurt again.”
- “There are just some things that shouldn’t be forgiven.”
- “If you forgive them, you’re condoning the wrong they did.”
- “If you forgive them you have to forget what they did.”
Before we study what our Bible teaches us about forgiveness, we need to understand what the Bible says about “Worldly Viewpoints”.
Romans 12:1-2 (NLT)
“2 Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.”
1 Corinthians 3:18-19
“18 Do not deceive yourselves. If any one of you thinks he is wise by the standards of this age, he should become a “fool” so that he may become wise. 19 For the wisdom of this world is foolishness in God’s sight.”
Colossians 2:8
“See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ.”
Colossians 2:20-23
“20 Since you died with Christ to the basic principles of this world, why, as though you still belonged to it, do you submit to its rules: 21 “Do not handle! Do not taste! Do not touch!”? 22 These are all destined to perish with use, because they are based on human commands and teachings. 23 Such regulations indeed have an appearance of wisdom,”
1 John 4:4-6
“4 You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world. 5 They are from the world and therefore speak from the viewpoint of the world, and the world listens to them. 6 We are from God, and whoever knows God listens to us; but whoever is not from God does not listen to us. This is how we recognize the Spirit of truth and the spirit of falsehood.”
Even though there might be limited wisdom about forgiveness that the world gives us, we need to understand why Christians should not believe in or live by the “Worldly Viewpoints” about forgiveness. Because “Worldly Viewpoints” about forgiveness are based on the following, just to list a few.
- Feelings and emotions.
- What some would call common sense.
- Things that seem to be wise or self-beneficial.
- Conditional circumstances and their consequences.
All of which can be influenced by the lies of the enemy about God’s forgiveness to others and even for us.
Matthew 18:21-22
“21 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?”22 Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.”
What might be some of the lies that the enemy tells us about us forgiving others and also God forgiving us?
- I cannot afford to forgive you every time you ask.
- If I forgive, I will get hurt when it happens it again.
- There are just some sins that shouldn’t be forgiven.
- If I forgive someone, it would be telling them it is okay to do it again.
- If I forgive someone, I will have to forget what they did.
What does our Bibles teach about forgiveness? Christians forgive because they have been forgiven by God.
Colossians 3:12-14
12 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13 Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
Our Bibles teach us that God is a forgiving God.
Numbers 14:18
“The Lord is slow to anger, abounding in love and forgiving sin and rebellion.”
Nehemiah 9:17
“But you are a forgiving God, gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love.”
Daniel 9:9
“The Lord our God is merciful and forgiving, even though we have rebelled against him.”
Psalm 86:5
“You are forgiving and good, O Lord, abounding in love to all who call to you.”
Ephesians 1:7-8, “In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace”
1 John 1:9
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”
What does it mean for a Christian to forgive?
What is forgiveness?
- a) “Forgiveness means “to let go,” “to leave behind,” “to dismiss,” and even “to cancel a debt.”
- b) “Holding on to unforgiveness is a sin because of the bitterness and destruction it can bring in one’s own spirit and because it fails to reflect God’s character in our lives.”
- c) “God’s Word means exactly what it says: God forgives us our sins as we forgive others who have sinned against us. To hold unforgiveness in our hearts toward others is to block the flow of God’s forgiveness to us.”
Jesus said if we want our sins to be forgiven by God we need to forgive others.
Matthew 6:12 (NIV)
“…and forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us.
Matthew 6:14-15
“14 For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”
Mark 11:25
“25 And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.”
“We must not deceive ourselves into thinking that we can maintain a proper relationship with God and pure faith that brings answers to prayer if we have hatred, bitterness or resentment in our hearts against anyone because of unforgiveness.”
The following are a few truths about forgiveness Christians should know about that reflects our relationship with God.
- “Forgiveness models the love of God. Forgiveness offers something undeserved (grace) to someone who does not deserve it. When we choose to forgive, we are choosing to model the love, forgiveness and grace that God has for us.
- Forgiveness requires trust in God and the one forgiven. Trust in God that he is in control of the situation and not us. Also, forgiveness requires trust in the person’s repentance we forgive.”
Luke 17:3-4
“If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him. 4 If he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times comes back to you and says, ‘I repent,’ forgive him.”
Forgiveness frees us from potential captivity. Unforgiveness is emotional slavery-not for the offender, but for us. Unforgiveness makes us captive to the hurt and pain of what happened.
Proverbs 14:30
“A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.
Forgiveness humbles us. Pride and entitlement always go along with unforgiveness.
1 Peter 5:6-7
“6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. 7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”
Forgiveness Empowers. It takes real courage and strength that God gives us to forgive.
Psalms 105:4
“4 Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always.
Why do we forgive others? Because we know what it is to be forgiven by Christ.
Ephesians 4:32
“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
Pastor John
